First of all, I rarely ever remember what I dream about, only that I had one.  But every once in a while one will stick with me.  In this one I was one of our nation’s founding fathers who looked a lot like Ben Franklin, yet I was still fixing printer jams in whatever building I happened to be in at the time.  (It really sucks when the dreams you remember have something to do with work…)  So just as I finished fixing the printer, we were suddenly attacked by a number (I think 2 or 3) of ugly, angry mutant tigers.  I mean these things were mangy!  So being the paternal figure and defender that I was, I was forced to fight these tigers off with my bare hands.  It wasn’t easy, but I finally conquered them all.  After I had broken the neck of the last giant feline I heard someone yelling outside so I ran out the door to see what was going on.  Upon stepping outside a messenger ran up to ask me if I had heard the “shot heard round the world“.

It was in the next moment that my girlfriend and I were woken by perhaps the loudest thunder I have ever heard in my life.  The initial burst was like a shotgun had been fired just outside our window, and it continued in a rolling pattern for about 15 seconds.  It wouldn’t have freaked me out so bad had I not just had that dream, but all I could think was that was the shot heard round the world, and I dreamed it into being!  It was very strange feeling. 

Premonition, or coincidence?  And why are crazy tigers attacking me and my people in my dreams? 

One instance in particular that I can recall happened about 3 years ago.  At the time I lived in an apartment complex in Media, PA, down near Philadelphia. Just to set the stage for you, this was not an affluent neighborhood, nor was it a bad neighborhood, but it contained a strange mix of people living there.  All colors, young and old.  One particular group was actually mentally handicapped.  I recall the day I moved in there one of these gentlemen offered to hold the door for me as I carried my belongings inside.  I offered a thank you and he replied, “It’s no problem, I’m very powerful!”  This is the same chap who, when I happened to share the elevator with him one day, wanted to know if I’d like to see what he got for his birthday.  When I said yes, he proceeded to pull out of his pocket a picture of a fire engine…  How’s that saying go?  “Doesn’t take much to amuse the simple”?

Anyway, back to my original story. As I left the apt. building and was walking towards my car this one foggy morning I happened to notice some movement to my left, glanced over and noticed a young girl in a long black coat moving towards the section in the corner of the lot where the dumpsters were kept.  Sadly, somebody had left an upright piano there to be tossed out with the garbage.

I had seen this girl before, as she lived in the building adjacent to mine.  She had blonde hair, must have been about 11 or 12 years old, and was probably on her way out to catch the school bus that morning.  But on this particular day that piano caught her eye, and she slowly made her way towards it.  I had reached my car by this time, not entering it yet, but rather standing beside it out of her view as I observed the scene unfold.  For some reason I just needed to see what she would do.

Finally, she reached the piano.  She looked it up and down for a few seconds, and then she looked around to see if anyone was there.  When she felt safe that no one was watching or within earshot she reached her hands forward, placed her fingers on the keys, and began playing a melody.  She must have been taking lessons for at least a couple of years.  I don’t know what the song was that she was playing, and it was obvious the piano had not been tuned in quite some time, and it could not have lasted more than 15-20 seconds, but on that brisk morning as the fog was lifting, at the risk of sounding really cheesy, I gotta tell you it was one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve ever witnessed.  Completely surreal.

When she was finished she looked around again (not seeing me), and walked away.  I wondered if that piano had ever been played so well before or if it had ever even been appreciated as much as it was at that moment, by two people - the artist and her invisible, yet captivated audience…

Regardless of your beliefs on the origins of the Universe, there are scientific laws that govern it.  These ‘Six Numbers’, according to Rees, are the core laws:

As the start of the twenty-first century, we have identified six numbers that seem especially significant. Two of them relate to the basic forces; two fix the size and overall ‘texture’ of our Universe and determine whether it will continue for ever; and two more fix the properties of space itself:

These six numbers constitute a ‘recipe’ for a universe. Moreover, the outcome is sensitive to their values: if any one of them were to be ‘untuned’, there would be no stars and no life. Is this tuning just a brute fact, a coincidence? Or is it the providence of a benign Creator? I take the view that it is neither. An infinity of other universes may well exist where the numbers are different. Most would be stillborn or sterile. We could only have emerged (and therefore we naturally now find ourselves) in a universe with the ‘right’ combination. This realization offers a radically new perspective on our Universe, on our place in it, and on the nature of physical laws.

Pretty powerful stuff!  And anyone who is interested in where we came from should find this subject matter very appealing.  The ‘Six Numbers’ are as follows:

N = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
The cosmos is so vast because there is one crucially important huge number in nature. N measures the strength of the electrical forces that hold atoms together, divided by the force of gravity between them. If it had a few less zeros, only a short-lived and miniature universe could exist. No creatures would be larger than insects, and there would be no time for evolution to lead to intelligent life.

έ = 0.007
Another number, epsilon, defines how firmly atomic nuclei bind together and how all the atoms on Earth were made. The value of epsilon controls the power from the Sun and, more sensitively, how stars transmute hydrogen into all the atoms of the periodic table. Carbon and oxygen are common, and gold and uranium are rare, because of what happens in the stars. If epsilon were 0.006 or 0.008, we could not exist.

Ω omega 1

The cosmic number omega measures the amount of material in our Universe - galaxies, diffuse gas, and ‘dark matter’. Omega tells us the relative importance of gravity and expansion energy in the Universe. A universe within which omega was too high would have collapsed long ago; had omega been too low, no galaxies would have formed. The inflationary theory of the Big Bang says omega should be one; astronomers have yet to measure its exact value.

λ = 0.7
Measuring the sixth number, lambda, was the biggest scientific news of 1998, though its precise value is still uncertain. An unsuspected new force - a cosmic ‘antigravity’ - controls the expansion of our Universe. Fortunately for us, lambda is very small. Otherwise its effect would have stopped galaxies and stars from forming, and cosmic evolution would have been stifled before it could even begin.

Q = 1/100,000
The seeds for all cosmic structures - stars, galaxies and clusters of galaxies - were all imprinted in the Big Bang. The fabric - or texture - of our Universe depends on a number that represents the ratio of two fundamental energies. If Q were even smaller, the Universe would be inert and structureless; if Q were much larger, it would be a violent place, dominated by giant black holes.

D = 3
The first crucial number is the number of spatial dimensions: we live in a three-dimensional Universe. Life couldn’t exist if D were two or four. Time is a fourth dimension, but distinctively different from the others in that it has a built-in arrow: we ‘move’ only towards the future.

All very impressive stuff, and if you are not familiar with working with those kinds of numbers on a regular basis, also quite intimidating.  But I want you to take a close look at the 2nd point Rees makes, when he discusses epsilon.  Note the numeric value of this item.  007.  That’s right, Double-O-7!!!! How crazy is that?!

Now I always thought James Bond was cool.  I mean, how many guys do you know that drive a car that shoots missiles, and can kill 3 men simultaneously with his bare hands, and always gets the hot girl?!  But this takes cool to a whole new level.  The fate of the whole universe as we now know it lies in his hands!  This is why he continues to exist in different forms and never goes away.  If Bond goes away, we all go away.  Keep that in mind the next time you watch Goldfinger or Octopussy.  It’ll change your entire perspective on things…

Come on, how cool are these things?!  They get their name from the common positioning of their front legs/claws, which resembles a prayerful position, although I like to think of it more as a pugilist stance.  And no wonder, as the females sometimes will eat off the head of their male mate during the reproductive activity. So you either gotta be ready to fight, or pray really hard that she has a headache tonight… But seriously, talk about hardcore!  But hey, if you gotta go, what better way to do it, right?  Cool grade: 10

www.pandora.com

If you like music, this website is definitely for you!  Go to the site, pop in the name of your favorite artist, and whammo, you’ve got yourself a free playlist of that artist and anyone similar to him/her.  It’s a great way to discover some great music you maybe had not been privy to yet.  Do yourself a favor and check it out.  Cool grade: 10

The Caveman

That hairy dude cracks me up every time I see him.  Whether he’s treasure-hunting on the beach, ordering the duck with mango salsa at a fine restaurant, cruisin’ for babes on his motorcycle, or playing tennis with Billy Jean King, I always get a good laugh out of this neanderthal.  So when it came time for me to change insurance providers, guess who I went with?  You got it - Geico.  Who says advertising doesn’t work?  Cool grade: 10

Edible Underwear

No explanation necessary.  Cool grade: off the charts

Wii

I don’t have one yet, and have not even played one yet, but how cool is this thing?!  It’s just amazing how far video games have come.  I remember the day my sister got married, I spent the entire morning playing Asteroids on my Atari 2600, shooting those one-dimensional rocks with my triangle-shaped spaceship, and loving every second of it.  Now you can actually win by mimicing the actions of a tennis player, or Tiger Woods, or Mario as he outmaneuvers the evil Donkey Kong.  I think I may just get one for myself for Christmas.  I’ve been a good boy this year.  Ok, that’s not entirely true, but I’ve tried!  Cool grade: 10

So a friend of mine had given me a DVD from the P90X series - this one happened to be titled the Ab Ripper.  Since that is the area most in need of maintenance I figured it was perfect. Now I do crunches every now and then so it’s not like my abs never get a workout, so I thought this would be no problem - I’ll jump right into it!  Little did I know that aside from the abs, it also works another portion of the body pretty hard.

The whole routine is only 20 minutes long, but it’s one exercise right after the other, no breaks.  I ran through the whole routine, but only did about 3/4 of each exercise, not wanting to overdo it too much.  I felt great when I got done!  The next day I played racquetball at lunchtime with some guys at the office.  Afterwards I felt a little tight in the left hip flexor region, but nothing crazy.  This morning when I woke up I knew right away I was in trouble.  Both hip flexors were so tight it felt like I had spears stuck in them!  I couldn’t stand up straight!  All day long I was walking around like I was handicapped or a 92 year old man.  I feel pathetic.  I took a bath tonight to try to loosen it up.  I never take baths.  No relief.  Here’s to hoping I feel better tomorrow…

On the bright side, my abs feel great!  I’d do it again if my hips ever heal…

Have you seen the new Guitar Hero commercials with Heidi Klum where she is mimicking the Risky Business scene where Tom Cruise is dancing around in his underwear?  Well I gotta tell you, it is so much more enjoyable when Heidi is doing it.  There are two versions - one with her in a button down white shirt, and another where she takes that off and is only in her bra and panties.  I think I may run out and purchase Guitar Hero tomorrow…

Tomorrow is our day to vote.  I wish I could be excited about that, but…  change is coming, and I’m afraid it will not be for the better…

Apparently there is a group of people down in Florida who feel they cannot vote proplerly unless they are nude when doing so.  Check out this story I found on Yahoo:

LAND O’ LAKES, Fla. – A nudist community on Florida’s west coast wants to establish the first clothing-optional polling site. The Caliente Resorts, located in Pasco County north of Tampa, has approached election officials about the idea.

Nothing in state law would prohibit it, but the supervisor of elections says he is opposed to creating any new precincts before redistricting in 2010.

Now I’m all for getting undressed, and have been known to go streaking thru the courtyard on occasion, but I also understand that it is not always appropriate to do so, and maybe this is one of those times?  Do we really need to accommodate every stinking group of people out there?

The game just ended, and I am now $120 richer 

On that note, good night, and go vote tomorrow!  And when you do remember the words of John Quincy Adams when he said, “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”

Many believe voting 3rd party is throwing your vote away.  I happen to disagree.  I would have voted for Ron Paul had he won the Republican ticket or if he had chosen to run on another ticket or independently.  Unfortunately, he decided not to go that route and instead gave his endorsement to Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party.  After researching Mr. Baldwin I have decided he will get my write-in vote come  Nov. 4th.  I don’t agree with everything he stands for, but on the big issues I do, such as the War, immigration and taxes.  As long as the Democrats and Republicans as they currently stand are running this country, we will continue to go down the road we are on.  People such as Ron Paul and Chuck Baldwin who are willing to buck the system and take us back to the ideas of our founding fathers are our only hope.  As John Quincy Adams said, “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost”.

Please vote for principal this election, not for the lesser of two evils.  Read about Chuck Baldwin and the Constitution Party here.

1. The Count of Monte Cristo
2. Man on Fire
3. The Boondock Saints
4. Death Sentence
5. The Crow
6. Gladiator
7. Kill Bill
8. The Punisher
9. Reservation Road

Now most of these movies portray normal everyday people who are put into tragic circumstances by bad nasty people, and while the revenge they exact on said bad nasty people may not bring back their loved ones or fix the problem that was caused, they at least find some justice in their actions, when the legal system failed to do it for them, or if it wasn’t coming to them via any other means.  Now I know some people believe in the old saying “Turn the other cheek”, but for me, there are just some offenses that cannot go unpunished, and I applaud the revenge seeker.

But there is another series on Showtime that I have been following that kind of goes against the normal formula for a vigilante, and that is Dexter.  Here is a guy who goes after bad guys much like a spiderman, except that he kills them, and he gets off on it.  For those of you who may not be familiar with it, he is a forensic scientist for Miami Metro by day, and a serial killer by night. Only his victims are all people who deserve to die, such as killers and rapists and the like.  So while you would normally be appalled by a serial killer, this one you actually root for!  He realized at a young age that he had a desire to kill, but his father, who was a cop, was able to channel his energy towards only targeting bad people.  Rather brilliant, in my mind.

So anyway, back to the original question.  If faced with the type of situation where somebody took your loved ones away from you, how would you deal with it?  Would you take the view of the pacifist and forgive them?  Would you just hope that the legal system did its job?  Or would you take matters into your own hands?  I have often wondered what I would do.  Part of me would love to be a vigilante and avenge myself and others who are incapable of it themselves, but when it comes down to it, I’m not sure I could.  Unless of course I were put in the situation where I just had nothing left to lose…

Like the time when I went ice skating and fell through the ice and found the dog that I had lost down there, frozen to death.  And when they pulled me out of the frigid water they had to revive me and I woke up to some guy with halitosis and a mullet giving me mouth-to-mouth, and then nobody would believe me about the dog.    OK, that never really happened, but you got to admit, that would have been a really bad day.

Anyway, I recently re-discovered this story below that a friend had emailed to me a couple of years ago.  It’s the story of one man and how his day went terribly awry. This is priceless stuff…

Apparently the good people who serve as scientists over at the Center for Regenerative Biology and Medicine in Tuebingen, Germany, have come up with an alternative for human embryos in their continued stem cell research, and that alternative is… (drumroll, please), human testicles!  That’s right, you heard me correctly - the next best solution is hanging in a sack between your legs! (or if you are of the female persuasion, between your partner’s legs…)

Now if this actually does work, I guess it’s great and all, but I have one serious question here…  Where the heck do you get the donors?!?! I mean, I have no problem donating blood and do so on a regular basis, but that stuff regenerates itself, you know?!  As far as I have so far surmised, testicles do not!  And I have to be honest with you, I’ve grown quite attached to my boys down there!  I’m not sure I’d know how to act without them, or if I would even have a sense of identity anymore.  I’d have to change how I walk and run and everything.  Might make me faster tho. Hmmm

So where do they find the guys that are willing to donate?  Do they pay for them, because you’ve got to be pretty hard up in order to let go of two-thirds of your manhood.  I know these are tough economic times and all, but come on!!!  And if they do pay for them, do they pay by the ounce?  If so, the guys in AC/DC would do quite well…  I guess another source would be men who want a sex change since they need to lop those things off anyway, but that must only cover a very small percentage, at least I think so, but what do I know?

Remember the urban legend about how there were people being abducted, and they’d wake up in a tub full of ice with their kidneys removed to be sold on the black market?  You will now hear about the same thing, except instead of kidneys it will be testicles.  So be careful who you talk to in the hotel lounge on those business trips, boys.  When that attractive, intelligent lady tells you she wants to get her hands on your junk, she’s not kidding!  Steer clear!

On the other side of all this is the fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) guy or gal who is the recipient of said rejuvenating surgery.  I mean, its great that you have a new brain and all, but dude, part of it is made out of some poor chap’s balls!  Good luck with that!

No, I’m not ready to be a eunuch just yet.  I think I’ll try to hang onto my complete unit as long as I can…